This was addressed to Brother Randy, the pastor at FBC Killeen. He was the one who read the e-mail and got on his knee for Cole!
I moved to Killeen, courtesy of the Army, against my wishes. Once it became apparent that God wanted me there I embraced the idea. I have spent years praying for, not just any woman, but a woman like Ruth, Esther, or Abigail, a woman like that described in Proverbs 31. That has been my greatest desire. I believe God has used circumstances in my past to show me just what a godly woman is worth, so for that I can be thankful. If you can find one, she is truly worth more than anything else this world can offer.
Once at First Baptist, I got involved in the Single's Dept. and met Beth McLaren. At first I, of course, noticed her and then got to watching her behavior to see if she was consistent. Everything about her just amazed me. I remember being surprised that here was this beautiful, single, young woman who could've been out anywhere else but here and she just always surprised me with her personality and convictions. I had a very specific list of traits I wanted in a wife and she met every one, and them some. God is truly able to give us more than we can imagine.
We eventually started dating and we had to have an honest discussion about where our relationship should head, given my upcoming deployment. This is where I turn into an idiot. We both knew we were interested in marriage and decided to "date purposefully". She agreed to wait for me while I'm deployed and she continues to be supportive of me. I thought I needed to see if she would still be there for me when I got back before I proposed. I was feeling really insecure. I just can't look at her and feel anything but gratitude to both our God and her for her unmerited love and devotion. Part of me has been afraid to really believe in God's answering my prayers, perhaps a bit like some people's hesitancy to accept His greatest Gift of all. How can I claim to believe she is His answer to my prayers and say that I must make her wait? I am now ashamed of my failure. I need her and God's forgiveness.
Bro. Randy, my failure to propose to this greatest of all treasures any man could hope to find now seems like such a denial of God's Grace on my part. Beth and her family have embraced me without cause and she could certainly have her pick of men, but she wants me. I can't escape the example of Boaz with Ruth. Once he was aware of her heart, he didn't hesitate. I want to correct my hesitancy. Beth should've seen me off to Iraq with a ring on her finger and the promise that I would return to claim her.
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